Support

Recognising abuse

domestic abuse

Anyone who is in fear of ‘threatening, controlling, coercive behaviour, violence or sexual abuse by a current or former intimate partner or family member. Domestic abuse can be experienced by anyone irrespective of age, ethnicity, religion, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation or any form of disability.

Sexual Violence abuse

Anyone who is in fear from unwanted physical, psychological, verbal, virtual/online that is perceived to be of a sexual nature which is controlling, coercive, exploitative or harmful. Sexual abuse can be experienced by anyone irrespective of age, ethnicity, religion, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation or any form of disability.

Emotional effects

The emotional effect of any of these types of abuse can cause depression, suicidal thoughts, misuse of drugs, alcoholism, low self-esteem, low self-image, hopelessness and you may become withdrawn. Distress, grief, powerlessness and immobilised with no value of self can lead to a breakdown of healthy verbal communication and leave you unable to make decisions even the smallest ones.

who can be the victim?

It doesn’t matter who you are!  Anybody can be a victim to abuse, get in touch now!

Types of Abuse & Why people abuse

Physical Abuse

Emotional Abuse

Verbal Abuse

Financial Abuse

Sexual Abuse

Caused By:
• Punching
• kicking
• biting
• burning
• cutting
• scalding
• strangling
Weapons used
• hands/fists
• feet/knees
• teeth/pliers
• cigarettes/lighter/poker
• knives/hammers
• screwdrivers & other tools
• water/tea/coffee/oil/
• rope/belts/etc etc etc

Caused By:
• Humiliating in public
• Name calling
• Manipulating
• Undermining
• Giving negative messages
• Isolation from friends and family

Caused By:
• Threatening
• Blackmail
• Saying the person is ugly, useless, stupid,
• Always criticising, shouting, swearing
• Yelling into the persons face

Caused By:

• Withholding money
• Spending excessive amounts of money on drink, gambling, 
• keeping all the money, 
• Not providing for basic needs
• Building debts and credit
• demanding money etc…..
• Financial effects..…
• No home, no money, no clothes. Debt worries, no heat or lack of basic comforts and resources.
• Sexual Effects..
• .Gynaecological problems, sexual disease, rape, low sex drive.

Caused By:

• Inappropriate sexual requests
• Refusing to take NO for an answer
• Rape; even in a marriage this is a crime
• Using sex as a blackmail or control
• Any form of Cyber Sex including unwanted texts, messages, photographs or links to inappropriate material

 

People Abuse To:

• punish
• dominate
• gratify something inside
• breakdown
• destroy 
• CONTROL

Reasons For Staying:

• You have emotional ties
• For the sake of the children
• Too afraid, embarrassed
• Feelings of failure
• Knowing her /his place
• Loss of security
• Too afraid to leave
• A career is too important and must come first 
• Everyone else is with someone
• It’s the way they love me
• They don’t mean it 
• They had a bad home life
• They have a drink / drug problem
• This is how they show love to me
• I should have kept my mouth shut
• They have a Mental Health Problem/bad nerves
• It was my fault
• They will realise I love them, and they will stop
•  I shouldn’t look at anyone else

Effect on children

Children will naturally want to defend and protect if someone they love is in danger and they may lash out at the perpetrator. As a result, the perpetrator may retaliate causing physical or emotional trauma to the children. Consequently, this could leave the child with feelings of responsibility for not stopping the incident.

This could lead to personality defects, difficulties with long term relationships and fear of the opposite sex. Behaviours like fear of rejection, won’t leave mother, being withdrawn or extreme anger issues as well as being overly protective of the person who is suffering the abuse in the home.

Children may find themselves in a downward spiral experiencing low self-esteem, with the possibility of turning to alcohol or drugs or going into care.

Caused By
• Abused, beaten, unexplained
• Bruising
• Frightened
• Anger issues
• Nightmares
• Bed wetting
• Stammering
• Low self-esteem
• Bad attitudes
• Self-harm
• Drug abuse
• Alcohol misuse
• School work affected
• Underachieving
• Overachieving

Cycle of violence

The Explosion

It may seem strange to start with the end , well not where domestic abuse is concerned. The end is the beginning of a cycle of abuse From the first incident it moves to.

Repentance

After the explosion comes the remorse and guilt. The abuser is truly sorry and makes promises that this will never happen again. This is where the promises are made, and you are showered with love and affection.

The hook of hope

This is the place of calm when things feel like they have settled down and everything feels normal. However, over time the apologies and presents become less and less and can disappear.

Honeymoon period

When less effort to gain forgiveness sets in tensions begin to build again. Suddenly you are walking on eggshells and there is no way to predict what your partner is going to do or say. This leads to the ‘Explosion’ and the cycle begins again.

Can you see any of these signs?  If so please contact us, We are here to help!